Soooooo, out of nowhere I deactivated my insta id today and don't know how just felt like writing something on my blog. I don't know where to start, I don't know what to write and I just hope to know it as I proceed. Its been so long since I have felt something real, that now just the mere thought of emotions makes me wanna laugh so hard. Tbh, I have stopped believing that something real exists, but as I say this I remember my sister... I have no idea how I love her sooooo fucking much. Maybe she is the only string i have to the real world. Was life supposed to get this dull at this age? I am not that grown-up to feel this alone at all the times. I have been talking to these strange people for the past few months and somehow out of nowhere today, I decided to just cut off the social media. Literally, out of nowhere! I was pooping and I am like..... lets detox! xD I don't know. I remember I used to write. It used to feel good. maybe I need to connect more with myself, maybe I need to show some more love to me. Maybe I just need to understand me. Maybe then this burden of sadness will go away and I will learn to live alone....... but arent we *supposed* to love at all times in our life? What is life without love... like seriously! It means so shitty not having anyone to hold, to hug, to laugh with! ahhhhh leave it... maybe this is just my lonely ass, that's gonna cry any moment soon now, hahaha hahaha.
I think I should end the blog... but I am getting this feeling that I need to express more... ummmmmmm I don't know what to say.... this is what always happens.... I want to say something and the moment I realise that I *have to say something, express myself*, all the words mumble up and I get confused and shit....... oh so I started ranting again xD damnnn... go away people get a life... stop reading crap written by a 19-year-old girl, I should also try something better