Why do we choose the wrong guy?
Updated: Dec 21, 2020
Is it mandatory to fall for the guy who has some issues? But that is not pity attraction..... trust me, this is real attraction.... people may make all the jokes they want about girls choosing the wrong guy, but don't know why I feel safe being with an already broken person, maybe cause I cannot afford to be with a completely sorted, fresher, new. pure soul...
I am so messed up from inside... I am never gonna feel the freedom to be my crazy self with all my traumas and shit in front of someone whose soul is yet protected..... But with the broken guy, you just know that he will understand..... He is going to understand that it happens and it's normal... He is not going to get scared and shit...
I am not having a saviour complex to protect him or shit..... it's just that he'll get it. I cannot have an innocent human hovering around my darkness, getting burnt and destroyed with all the shit that I can do. So, maybe, that's why I look for broken people... maybe that's how we choose people and I don't actually think there is something wrong with it.
And now after taking a deep breath....... I am realising and recognizing all the bullshit reasons I am ready to give to myself, to boost up my self sabotaging behaviour. Consciously signing up for more mental trauma!
There I have a nice, cute, funny, cheerful, happy human, who can give me real happiness... who might help me feel like a human (btw: am not ever going to be dependent on him for my happiness), And just look at the reasons that I am ready to give to myself while bowing down to my demons.... surrendering my power to them... making the wrong choices.... all over again!
BTW, did you notice that all my reasoning was done on the basis that I am an inescapable broken horrible human being, who's ultimately going to mess everything up.